The Change of Heart Pivot

The pivot I faced was a change of heart; I had to turn away from my old ways to be closer to God. I was dealing with the thought that I didn't need anyone; I even thought that all the A's I got were because I was smart. Those were the years when I was far away from God. I also didn't take God seriously because I knew that I didn't want to let go of my sins. I also thought that following Christ was such a hard task.

To go more in-depth on this pivot, I thought I was very independent. I asked no one for help, and I had so much confidence in myself when it came to getting things done. I would also underestimate God and say God will not do this thing for me, in other words, I had no personal faith in him. I knew his wonders, his words, and how miraculous he is, but I just shrugged it off and told myself that God will never be that marvelous in my life. I began to drift farther away from him, not realizing and being thankful for all the things he had done in my life. The sins and habits that held me back the most were being doubtful, having a negative attitude, and staying in my head. What I mean by staying in my head is that I would hide all my emotions and wouldn't talk to anyone if they didn't talk to me first. This habit affected me so much that I would feel alone even when I had people near me.

This sadness went on for so long until one day, my friends came to my house. We talked about Christ and what we were going through; the most essential question we asked ourselves is: "On the day of judgement, do you think you will make it?" I knew the answer to that (which was no), then the oldest one in our group told us what she was dealing with and how she repented for her sin. That night, I truly repented from my sin and asked for forgiveness, for thinking he wasn't big enough to save me or answer my need. I asked God for forgiveness for everything I did from baby me to now, and I truly felt saved, but little by little, I began to feel closer to God and stay consistent with him.

Today, 7/17/2026, I feel the love of God, and every time I seek him, I feel like I am right by his side and he is answering me. Something that helped me was having friends who also wanted to grow closer to God. We started having bible study together daily and also made plans to go to our church to invite more people to hear the word of God. Personally, as someone who grew up in a Christian family, I really had to find God for myself and seek him. I have repented to God many times, but this is the only one that I feel has stuck with me. The habits I have created for myself are reading the Word of God daily, talking to him morning, noon, and night. I started with Proverbs because I really struggled with obeying him, and the book of Proverbs taught me so much about how generous God is and the promises and blessings that come with being righteous.

In conclusion, the things that I let go to grow in Christ are my sins and my pride, because they were holding me back from getting closer to God. I have also shortened the time I spend on my phone and deleted TikTok and Instagram. I also deleted Spotify because I was listening to secular music. God taught me that you don't have to be a certain way to be with him because he cleanses you and will make you holy if you put all your worries and plans on him. And now I seek the word of God and want to learn more about him. And today I can honestly say that I am a child of God and want to be in his presence always.